lokislongluscioussantahat:

coll-of-the-haunted:

zelda-in-a-tutu:

impmon:

babyferaligator:

babyferaligator:

beginning of joke

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i honestly dont understand this joke and its frustrating me

Well, I guess you’re missing the

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 I do have a remarkable tendency to miss the Juicy Juice Hypotenuse.

Can we always call it that oh my god


tourettesandsex:

urbies:

xbostons:

lostboyonadeadthrone:

If your girlfriend has sexual intercourse with another girl. Is that considered cheating? 

If I’m right handed and I punch you with my left, did I really hit you?

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I’ll reblog this every time.



spicy-vagina-tacos:


bekstek:

mintike:

IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”

oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:

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cracks me up every time


nichtsoweiss:

godotal:

Heard you was talkin shit

This bird always reminds me to crack my neck at the perfect time


glumshoe:

This was my chemistry professor.


shslriotgrrrl:

methhomework:

don’t ever let a man tell you the condom is too small

m o i s t u r i z e m e


GREATEST IMPROVISED LINE EVER


lokiperfection:

 

tomhazeldine:

I’ve always aspired to be a better man than I am. And I’m nowhere near there yet. So I’d like to, rather sentimentally, dedicate this award to my mum, for making me the man that I am. - upon receiving the Man Of  The Year award